As long back as I can remember I had such a struggle with being very anxious when it came time to ‘being on time.’
Even subconsciously, I always felt I needed to rush so that I made it on time.
I can’t say that I was ever late, sometimes even early, and often waiting for others to arrive.
But the pressure and stress I felt while getting myself there on time was exhausting!
And then getting my son out and on time too! Whoa! I would turn into monster mommy.
Looking back I think the thought was that if I don’t make it on time, others would be disappointed. I remember feeling really stressed and pressured about that thought.
This seemed to follow me and crept up on me almost every time I had somewhere to be.
I can tell you the ride of all that would exhaust me before even getting to where I was going.
But one time a while back something occurred to me.
I had felt the rise in adrenaline in my body and was just about to shout out to my son, who is very relaxed about getting anywhere… 😉
And it hit me… I was so outside-in with how I was experiencing this whole circumstance of getting there in time and disappointing someone?!?! Like I don’t even know who anymore… lol.
That was very interesting, I felt my physical response and recognized that I was outside-in with where I believed my feelings where coming from in that moment.
This would occur to me again a few other times as I was hurrying to go somewhere.
Then at one moment I actually insightfully understood what was going on here…
I am feeling my thinking about getting there on time! That my feelings are NOT coming from getting there on time or not getting there on time. My feelings are coming from thought in the moment.
Understanding How I was experiencing getting there on time, completely brought me into that very task at hand… just getting there… on time.
I no longer felt any sense of stress, pressure or worry. I was just on my way there.
I can’t tell you in words what that did for me.
But I can tell you that stressing and worrying about getting anywhere on time, doesn’t even make sense to consider anymore.
It is amazing how when you insightfully see HOW you experience life, that it becomes like a North Star to you… pointing out to you how it works 💯 of the time vs how it doesn’t work.
And honestly I am grateful for that!
Photo credit: Icons8 team